From the eyes of the child

Hi, my name is NO PUT THAT DOWN … well I think that’s my name as that what the big people seem to shout at me…… ALOT.

Before I get started I want to firstly apologise for any spelling mistakes and grammar issues but I’m only 14 months old, so I really haven’t quite got the hang on the English language yet but there is only so much you can learn from in the night garden.

The big people seem to have enjoyed telling you all what a lovely boy I am to bring up ha-ha check me out already got the sarcasm down #lifegoals.

There always saying I don’t nap, but I do nap just when I want to and then they moan I nap at the wrong times. But how would you like it, if someone told you what to do all the time and when to go to sleep, so what I was rubbing my eyes and yawning but this doesn’t mean I want to go to sleep.

They have no idea how hard it is being a baby ………

You don’t have do number twos in front of a crowd and then have them chasing you around the living room to see if you have done one or if it’s just a smelly fart. Some days I like to play tricks on them and they seem to hate it really badly if I don’t do my number 2’s so I’ll hold it in as long as physically possible just to annoy them. Mind you it’s no picnic for me it gives me a well bad belly and then I can’t sleep.

You know at this age you should take every opportunity to have fun and I learned another trick the other day. I call It the plank this is where I go as stiff as a board when they try and put me in the buggy, I have worked out it is even more fun when I do it when there are loads of people around. Gets the big people well annoyed but what’s even better is they get all embarrassed with all the other big people staring at the.

I need to let you all know I was super proud of myself the other day, I escaped the big people at soft play I went down the big slide all by myself, it was even better because I took out some 2-year-old girl on the way down, she deserved it though she had she had been hogging it for ages. You do not want to get in the way of a man and his slide!!!!!

Also, can someone please tell me why the big people our obsessed with taking me to these big toy shops

  1. All they do is brandish toys in front of me and then put them back on the shelf if that’s not child cruelty I don’t know what it is.
  2. Don’t they understand how many toys I have at home, I have got the fire place the living room door and I do really enjoy those plastics blocks at the bottom of the blinds.

I mean I hear all the time how being a parent is hard work but is it really? All they have to do is

  • Feed me
  • Change my nappy,
  • Dress me
  • Keep me clean,
  • Keep me entertained

Thinking about it that does sound like hard work maybe I should start being a bit more understanding with them ………. Nah this is way too much fun I’m going to go now there is a phone charger over there with my name on now they have taken the fun beads away that hang down from the blinds miserable sods. So, what if it kept going around my neck its part of the adventure. In fact, I’m going to rename the big people the “FUN KILLERS” these people must be stopped!

Oh, I better go they have seen me playing with the lap top better start crying gets me out of everything.

See you soon

 

 

 

 

 

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