Welcome to my first ever blog. Hopefully if you all like it, I will get to do some more……..
Where do I start? Well, I’m sitting at home this evening waiting to pick my
partner Catherine up from work, whilst our little boy sleeps. (Checks monitor) Yes he is still sleeping upstairs. PHEW!
I want to make this blog a way to get out how I feel as a first time parent. Basically, this is a way to stop my brain from wanting to explode. But also for all of you out there who are in the same boat as me, I’m hoping that these blogs will help you make feel better to.
I honestly think that sometimes the worst part about being a first time parent is actually talking to other parents, especially when they tell you about how their child eats anything and everything they put in front of them. I get giddy if he just looks in the direction of fruit and veg never mind actually eating the bloody stuff. On the other hand, if you drop food on the floor (well not just food but anything at all) and leave it for a good hour to go soggy or hard and inedible, he will find it and devour. It is like he has never had food before.
Pudding, on the other hand, he will take that from you with the look that Tom Hanks has in castaway when he finally cracked opened that first coconut!!!!!
it must be so exhausting dropping to the floor, all the pieces of the carefully and lovingly prepared, healthy food that is full of goodness and vitamins!!!!! Until you get so annoyed at trying to get him to eat it you have fly your white flag and begrudgingly give in and give him his pudding!!!! This then ends up with Will in a Petit Flous coma.
So I’m really hoping that sharing Catherine and my struggles with you will make you feel a little better inside. A bit like when you see someone else’s child acting up in the supermarket and yours for once is being as good as gold. You then have a sense of smugness fill your entire body and you have to try your upmost hardest not to walk by smirking at them thinking whilst thanking God that is not me and whispering to your child “don’t you ever think of doing that to me”.
William was 13 months old yesterday. It seems like only yesterday I was holding him in my arms in the recovery room after Catherine did an amazing job of bringing him into the world. She may have looked a little worse for wear (being polite) but she looked so beautiful to me and I have never been so proud of her. I’ll go into the joys of the week before William arrived in another blog (hopefully that will encourage people to want to read the next one), but I just need to check with the boss (Catherine) to see if she minds me writing about how she was on the verge of knocking the doctor out, ha-ha!
Williams was so small and all wrapped up in a towel looking so peaceful…. no wait, he was screaming his little head off but I have never fallen in love so quickly. I looked down at his squishy red face and I knew that I was going to love this little boy more than life itself, and make sure that Catherine and I would do everything in our power to protect him and raise him the best we ever could.
Fast-forward 13 months and I’m telling you this whole parenting lark it is not easy. It is nothing like you imagine or how you picture the ‘perfect’ family life to be.
I thought I was good in a morning. I was WRONG.
I thought getting up 4 times a night would be a doddle. I was WRONG.
I thought going to see my mum and step dad for a weekend would be a lovely break away, just throw a bag in the car and off we go. I was WRONG.
I thought everyone was lying about how hard it was. I have never been so WRONG.
Now I’m that annoying person that when I get talking to any pregnant lady, they get the full on, no holding back, horrific stories of how hard parenting is. A bit like talking about a plane crash in the departure lounge at Heathrow and they call them to board but then I leave them to it wishing them a great holiday! Ha-ha!!
Everyone always says “they don’t stay small for long” and ”they’re not babies for long” and you know what? They are NOT WRONG!!!
Gone are the days where they sleep 23 out of 24 hours and you can still do bits and bobs around the house, you can pop them in their little baby swing and they are happy as Larry all calm and relaxed. Now it’s like trying to charm a snake to get him to sleep. Just the other day he fell asleep in the car after no naps all day and all I could think is ‘if he sleeps now he is bound to sleep all night’. That definitely did not happen. So we took about a 20 mile detour (no exaggeration) to the local supermarket just to make sure he got half an hour sleep!!!
That’s not the first time either. There have been many a time he has fallen asleep just as I have pulled into our road and I’ve just have to keep on driving !!!! CANNOT risk waking him up under any circumstances.
Also, when did a ‘fun’ day out turn into going to the supermarket…….?
Now we spend all our time planning each and every day to the minute. We talk in bed the night before trying to come up with an MI5-type mission that will mean we can comfortably take on William and hope the day goes smoothly! The day comes and we find ourselves watching it all fall apart before we’ve even got down the stairs.
We worry all day about bedtime and wonder whether once he is out of the bath will he actually go to sleep or are we going to be back down stairs within 20 mins watching In The bloody Night Garden AGAIN!?!?! Thinking the entire time he is in the bath ‘have I done this to soon’ or ‘did I misjudge the tired eye rub, was it really just an eye rub?’ and ‘was the yawn because he was tired or just bored of watching Wreck It Ralph for the hundredth time??’ I don’t care I love it ha-ha.
So now you should get an idea that you are not alone failing in the hardest job in the world. We are all failing. Epically. The children will always win.
Until next time my fellow failures,
Lovingly edited and proof read by sensible dog owner Mandy Jackson